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Many of you more observant viewers may have noticed that we have added ads to the blog.

For those of you with lower IQ's, they are in the box on the left  >>>>>

We did this to generate a small amount of revenue for the work that goes into the blog; although,

 Google did lay down some rules for us about having ads on the site.

One of the major ones:

Legally we can't tell you to click on at least one ad every time you visit the site. 

So you definitely shouldn't click the ads because that would generate revenue for us. 

Follow up. (Blizzard Warning, Imminent school closures)

The OSN (Optimistic Snow-day Network) just confirmed that the flash blizzard we are now experiencing is indeed the surprise attack from Jack Frost that they warned of earlier. People are warned that leaving their homes will result in near certain death, and to remain in  heated buildings at all times. 

For those of you that are curious as to how bad this could get, the OSN is recommending that you watch "The Day After Tomorrow". 

Additionally, it is encouraged that if you do venture outside, wear golf shoes or cleats of some sort, as to avoid slipping and seriously injuring your pelvis, or, worse. And to all those thrill seekers out there that think their mittens can stand up to the cold, it is recommended that you tie a rope to your foot and a flag to your head so your family can see where you are buried and drag you back inside to thaw by the fire.  

Thanksgiving update

Well everyone had to brush of their parkas this week to avoid catching hypothermia while making make the long trek from the end of the parking lot down to the front doors of school. Thankfully, the guards let everyone out on parole so we can all go to our grandparents' house and pretend that we are just over joyed to see them again. 

Keep in mind this Thanksgiving to check the country of origin on your turkey. According to Mr. Anderson, literally anything that has come in contact with China has been poisoned by lead, and you shouldn't go within 10 feet of it.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

We'll see you all when parole's up.  

Blizzard Warning, Imminent school closures.

This just in: Regular broadcasting of Desperate Housewives was abruptly interrupted, ( much to the dismay of 15 year- old girls across America), to air an urgent alert from OSN (Optimistic Snow Day Network). 

NOTICE:  Although snowfall does appear to be slowing, old Jack Frost is just waiting for the right moment to snow us all in. It is advised that you avoid any place you would not like to be snowed into over break (e.g. school, work, the bathroom etc.)

All Northpointers are strongly advised to skip school tomorrow to prevent the possibility of being stranded there over Thanksgiving, in which case you would more likely be celebrating "Cranks Giving", which faculty have clearly begun celebrating a little early this year. 

In Addition: it is highly encouraged that everyone take time to read:

"How to survive being stranded in snow" 

http://www.essortment.com/hobbies/survivebeingst_tvdv.htm

Update from senior retreat

Immediately upon arrival at the compound, each student had his or her name taken away and was given a number ( a lot like prison), which corresponded to our work detail. The students participated in many activities under the watchful eye of the guards. Certain students at one point made an attempt to enjoy themselves between breaks by interacting with people of the opposite sex, but apparently there is a new policy stating "Two individuals of opposite genders may not speak to each other unless a teacher is present". Which is definitely reasonable because talking is almost as bad as "doing the dirty". And we all know that everyone's parents would be throughly disgusted if they knew that teachers allowed students to talk to one another, after all they don't want school corrupting our minds with ideas of "co-ed friendship" and the likes.   

Word of The Day:

Dictionary:

lascivious: (la-siv'-ee-us) adj. reflecting or producing sexual desire or behavior, especially that is considered indecent or obscene.

 

NPC handbook

lascivious: ( la-siv'-ee-us) verb. talking, especially with out a teacher overseeing the conversation. 

There is a new epidemic, proceed with caution....

Today on November 20th, another case of the "Boredom Headache" has caused more students to go home sick. One such victim, Ross Saur, who after a brief interview, said that the office allegedly didn't have any tylenol for him. I smell conspiracy, for I have noticed that lectures, note taking, quizzes, tests, and projects are getting way more boring than they used to be. Thus, boredom.... being the terrible germ that it is is causing multiple of these cases, and teachers love to spread, (Is Dave Hamilton suffering from this too?), the question is, why? It is easy to speculate that most of the faculty want a day to themselves, so why not just spend a week on vacation while your workplace gets quarantined? It's fool proof, poison students with boredom, add malnutrition (see previous note), and take away any medication to combat it and what do you get? Right, a different version of the Hope college deal, a school shut down for a week. Let's be honest though, who doesn't need a break once in a while? but breaks suck if you are experiencing boredom- caused headaches, which leads to dementia, and dementia leads to an early demise. News flash, killing students is illegal and also, with no students, there are no teaching jobs. So, once we are all dead... good luck finding new jobs (As if it wasn't hard enough in Michigan, it is only going to get harder with the continued poor leadership of Gov. Granholm and who could forget our soon to be president, Barry Dunham. aka Barrack Obama.) 

Classy Thursday

As part of the newly formed tradition or as a promotion of Quantum of Solace,( it's still under investigation), students school- wide brushed off their suits from last year's homecoming to dress classy today at school; to the great delight of Mr. Hoffman and Mr. Anderson. 

It is not yet determined what two Thursdays from now will be like. There are rumors floating around that it will be something to the nature of "stay away Thursday," which implies that students will remain in bed in place of going to school. 

This idea is particularly popular because it rhymes; and everyone knows "if it rhymes its true."

Lunch ladies force students to shed pounds before Thanksgiving feast

It is too early to tell how deep the scandal goes, but initial reports show that the entire lunch crew is in on it. Today marked the beginning of an  attempt to force students to "shed some pounds" before Thanksgiving.  The idea is to maintain our school body's athletic appearance, by limiting the amount of food intake in preparation for the weight they will gain over Thanksgiving break. 

Recommendation:

Start packing your own lunch.

More to come.  

Icy roads put first hour classes in jeopardy

Students awoke to a chilling 19 degrees this morning and embarked on  the first of many epic journeys over the ice slicked roads. Apparently, the economic down turn has really taken an effect on the Grand Rapids road commission's ability to spread salt, and have thus decided to spread sand on the roads. This has created some major set backs in the flow of traffic and NPC was forced to postpone the start of the school day.