PDA, quickly becoming a major issue at NPC

I, for one, am completely and utterly disgusted by the immense amount of PDA that has been going on between classes. And I'm not just talking about your everyday eye contact, this stuff is the real deal.

Our school has become so morally corrupt lately that it has become an every day occurrence for me to see people patting one another on the back in the halls, or giving someone a high five , or what Johnny Delong is notorious for doing....the ever- scandalous "thumbs up."

Initially these things went on un-noticed by me, but it wasn't until Mr. Anderson pointed it out the other day by saying, "I know you think its just Christian fellowship, but its actually a little bit more than that," in regards to Benham hugging Melissa ( in the middle of the hall no less, I mean seriously, get a room) that I realized it had become such a problem in the halls of our school.

In my opinion, I think as a school we should all try practicing abstinence. I realize many of you don't know what a big word like that means (or at least you pretend to not know... Johnny, put your thumbs down, way down).

And for those of you that truly don't know what it means, I'll try to break it down for you like you're a five year old.

Abstinence- the equivalent of not sitting at the same table as someone of the opposite gender (a big word for sex) during recess.

So basically what this means for all you high schoolers is no more of those, high fives, or slaps on the back. In fact, until I think you guys can handle it I think it is appropriate to place a ban on all eye contact. So either wear sunglasses, or keep your head down.

I'll be watching.