School Board nearly cancels best part of being and senior.... Rumors of a possible Christmas cancellations as well

Some undisclosed board members, we will refer to them as "The Man," thought it was a good idea to set literally unattainable qualifications for senior exam exemptions. They are also considering removing Christmas break on account that it is, "too much fun". 

  

The new rules are as follows: 

1. Maintain an 85% or higher 

2. No more then 3 EXCUSED absences......... So forget about college visits. You had best just look them up on Google Earth.  

3. No more than 2 tardies per class, per quarter. 

  

 Now, seeing as how the average senior achieves roughly 1.7 tardies per day, and skips at least one class per week, these qualifications are far from attainable. 

  

While they're at it, they should have limited the number of yawns to 2 per class and the number of "extended blinks," (sleeping) to 2 per day. 

 

 These qualifications are about the equivalent of writing an illogical phrase on Mr. Hofman's white board, and leaving him with no erasers or markers to fix it.... And we all know that it would only be a matter of time until he spontaneously combusted from shear frustration. 

   

But don't worry, there is a light on the horizon. 

  

   

A certain student (yours truly) refused to take these changes lying down and marched directly to the office (which he is also an employee). 

After "knocking a few heads together," the matter has been resolved and seniors can continue to live out their dreams. 

    

Although, the same cannot be said for Christmas... there are rumors that Santa is prepping a special elf "sting team" to take down " The Man." 

   

 

Note: My editor is currently on vacation so.......